why can't everything just be.. right? you know, happiness and smiling and laughter and fun? where'd those times go?
i never wanted things to mess up so bad, i just wanted you to mean it when you said you loved me.. i didn't wanna have to fuck you so i would feel wanted by you.. i deserve better than that..
it's funny when you look at the times that we spent talking about getting together and everything, our feelings toward each other and other people etc. it's only funny though because if you give it a few days, less maybe, it all seems to mean nothing, like it never happened. if you don't wanna be with me then say, cuz i'm not waiting forever for something to happen if you're just using me. i'm not going through that again for you.
i guess i wish you'd talk to me more. like, well like real friends do. i wanna be there for you when you need me, and i guess i want you to need me.. cuz i need you. but i hate how you make me feel like i'm always bothering you. like you'd rather be talking with someone else or being with someone else. i'm just never good enough for you, in any way.
ha, i remember you saying to me that you wanted me to help you change - or something along those lines. somehow i don't think that will really happen, cuz i don't exactly know what you want to change, and i can't be the one to do that anyway. and plus i don't want you to change.. i love you for you..
it's so stupid how i wanna be the only one in your life. so stupid cuz i know i'm not. i can't even be your best friend, cuz she's already got that covered..
everythings just so fucking stupid.